Woman offers her younger brother and his family to move into her home while they're reeling from a rough financial situation, but now they're apprehensive about leaving: ‘I have a son who deserves space to grow’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Oct 12, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

When the people we love are in a rough spot, we typically always do our best to ensure that we can do anything in our power to help them. Though lending a helping hand might not always be the most convenient thing to do or the most beneficial, that's not what family is about; Family means picking your loved ones up when they're down.

But what if they stay down? Like, for more than a few years? Are you still beholden to them until they find their footing? Is that your job? I say no.

If you don't know when to say enough is enough, you might end up like the woman in this story, who is trying to get her brother and his family out of her home after a couple of years of sharing a roof with them. They've single-handedly taken over the household, and she believes she's given them more than enough time to figure out their next move. Even still, telling your family that they need to get gone isn't easy, and it seems like the family is pulling guilt-tripping tactics to feel out if she's serious or not. Scroll below to read the entire story.

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  • group of misbehaving children with unhappy woman in the center of it at the dining room table
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • "AITA for wanting my brother’s family to move out so I can finally live on my own again?"

    About 3-4 years ago, I kicked my ex out of the house I was renting. It's a 4- bedroom, 3-story home (about 1900 sq. ft.), and my boss had co-signed the lease.
    via Dangerousboomonk
  • After my ex left, I realized I couldn't afford the rent on my own, and around that time, my younger brother (we're a decade apart and weren't very close growing up) and his family were in a tough spot.
    via Dangerousboomonk
  • During CO ID, they were living with my sister-in- law's mom and brother. There was some kind of rental assistance program involved, but ultimately, other people in the household weren't paying their share,
    via Dangerousboomonk
  • and it messed up my brother and SIL's rental history. They ended up in a tiny 600 sq. ft. 2- bedroom apartment with three kids way too small.
    via Dangerousboomonk
  • Trying to be supportive and rebuild our relationship, I invited them to move into my house with me, as long as they helped with rent. I even gave them the master bedroom so they could be near their kids' rooms.
    via Dangerousboomonk
  • My son and I moved into the daylight basement. I turned the living space down there into a bedroom and mini- apartment for us - even got a mini-fridge and toaster oven because trying to share the upstairs kitchen was overwhelming.
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  • (They have a lot of stuff and a lot of chaos, and I tend to mirror my environment, so it was too much.) They also pretty much took over the shared spaces - the living room furniture and dining table are mine,
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  • but I hardly use them anymore. I rarely cook because to do so means deep- cleaning before and after, and honestly, I've just shrunk myself down to avoid stress.
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  • closeup photo of dirty dishes in a dirty kitchen sink
    via Curated Lifestyle For Unsplash+
  • After the first lease ended (about a year and a quarter), they still weren't ready to move. I decided to sign another two-year lease to give them time to get their situation straightened out.
    via Dangerousboomonk
  • That lease ends this December, and I've made it clear that I plan to get my own place after that. Here's where it gets complicated: My brother and his wife have had a rocky relationship (he's cheated before, and she's been in counseling).
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  • They say they still can't qualify for a new rental because of their past rental debt and history. When I mentioned I was house-hunting, my sister-in-law told me they'll probably "end up living in a car."
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  • my I do feel bad. I love nieces and nephews and want them to be safe. But I've also put my life on hold for years to help them. I have two older kids in college I want to invite. home and spend time with.
    via Dangerousboomonk
  • I have a son who deserves space to grow. And I'm in a relationship I'd like to nurture - but I can't even have my partner over comfortably, let alone start integrating him into my son's life,
    via Dangerousboomonk
  • because of the living situation. I've done what I could: I gave them a home when they had none, gave them extra time by extending the lease, and have sacrificed my own comfort and space.
    via Dangerousboomonk
  • But I'm exhausted and I want a life that's mine again. So... AITA for deciding to move out and stop sharing my home with my brother's family - even if it means they may end up without a place to go?
    via Dangerousboomonk
  • Dangerousboomonk I told them when I re-sign the lease two years ago that I wanted them to be able to work toward getting themselves out of their issues so that way they can move out on their own prior to that they had joined me in a lease that was a year and a quarter. So they have more than enough time to have figured this out and I know that I've been more than a accommodating. And yes, they've known throughout the whole lease and it's been brought up recently. Things seemed to be OK until jus
    via Dangerousboomonk
  • Weepingmomma92 They're using you. They were fine with it (but internally hoped you'd change your mind and re up with them). Now they're realizing that what you've been saying is true and now they're have to scramble to find something. Next thing you know you're going to be "selfish" for wanting to move having more time for yourself, kids, and relationship and less of them. I can already see this being a cluster :k. I bet they'll even ask if you've found a place for all of them and you guys. I ju
    via Weepingmomma92
  • Dangerousboomonk I rent from a big conglomerate company that buys up a bunch of houses in the area and does everything remote. I don't think the company would allow for them to actually take on the lease because of their discrepancies before fingers crossed that they find a place and figure things out it may cost some extra. I hope some well.
    via Dangerousboomonk
  • Remarkable-Cry7123 Time to think of you. They had over three years.The car remark was guilting at its finest. Keep in mind in this huge house they had totally blocked you from all shared spaces and the kitchen. That's ride. Five people pay half and use three quarters???? That's not right. You are not their mom. Move. Find a nice spot with two bedrooms. No more. You get a third bedroom they will pile in in you.
    via Remarkable-Cry7123
  • Dangerousboomonk Oh no absolutely not if I get a third bedroom it's for my college kids to come back to visit. Plain and simple as a matter of fact, I'm almost positive that I won't even hear from them very much after this is all sudden and done. Prior to this, my brother and I didn't talk all the time. It was very sparingly.. and if I'm being honest, you know their kids are about the same age as my younger one, and he often gets left out of things. I'm done. I'll always be there to talk with th
    via Dangerousboomonk

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